Can someone just tell me what to do? Cancer, tired, love triangle. I'm too tired to deal with any of it.?

40 yrs old, engaged to someone I've been with for 5 years. I do love him. His family is a constant disappointment as are his grown children so we often stay sad or frustrated. I see all these other couples at church with their happy lives and families. I always think, I want that. I can't decide where to go and I'm too tired to deal with all of this. I'm very sick. Don't know if I'll get better this time (3rd time). He knows about it. I don't have insurance of course. To top it all off, this week a friend of 4 years (that doesn't know) has decided he's in love with me. He wants me to leave my fiance to be with him. He keeps telling me how much better my life will be with him. I have extreme feelings for him as well. But it's as they say a 'crap shoot'. I'm too tired to make any decisions and there are far too many to make now. I have no doubt it could be worse; no one could love me, there could be no plausible treatments, there could be no hope, etc etc. I don't have a lot of luck with doctors and their misdiagnosis. I don't have a lot of luck with counselors that you bear your heart and soul to one week and the next week they can't even remember your name. (is it bear or bare? I can never remember) My family is not close. I just need someone to make the decisions for me for a while. Just a little while. Maybe just till I'm better.